In my agenda to find redemption, I went to God with my resume of what I have done and my accomplishments, expecting Him to take that list and make something of it. Instead, He did something unexpected. He did away with my nice list, a list I had labored over for many years, and pulled out a blank sheet of paper. On this paper, He begins to write His own story of my life. All else from before is done away with - my life is hidden in Christ. Some of the things He writes on the new paper are similar to parts from before. Some things are left off. Some things are added. But they are all penned by the Master. Everything on the previous resume had been handed over with the expectation that He would take the pre-existing list and use it. Instead, He starts from scratch, only including the things He deems good and necessary to the list. Under the place where it says qualifications, it just says Jesus, in big letters.
"Lord," I protest, "what are you doing? Don't you want to use these gifts and talents to bring you glory? These gifts that I have worked so hard on to perfect so that I might use them for you?"
"I have used them. These gifts, that I have given you as a loan, have glorified me. Now I am willing that you glorify Me in other ways. Ways that I will choose. Ways that will bring maximum glory to Myself. And it will be GOOD."
I let Him write the list and watch with curiosity and a little fear. I hope and pray that I won't have to experience this feeling of watching Him erase the resume again, but somehow, I know that this story will get repeated. That the years spent in investing in any one vocation, pattern, or location will become an offering to Him. My heart breathes a sigh of relief as I remember that He is a Faithful Father. A slight bit of excitement begins to fill my heart as I recall the adventures He's led me on before - it hasn't been conventional, but its been pretty exciting! I still don't quite know what He's up to, but He is a good writer. He is good at a lot of things. I slowly realize that the resume isn't even about me - while He works at it with utmost care, it is a means to a different end. I feel very small. I feel self-conscious that He is the one writing my resume. The previous offerings of years and talent don't seem to matter as much now...God Himself is writing my resume. I am awestruck that He would be willing to do so. All I can manage is "Thank you."
"If you're still measuring out your offering, you haven't seen His worth yet."
