So, I got a job. Awesome story of the Lord's faithfulness and incredible mercy and grace....however that is not what I'm writing about today.
I am reading the book "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper....it is SO good. I have not really read much of Piper's stuff until recently, but it is so right on theologically, as well as also easy to read and understand. Anyway, its been a really good read as I've been thinking/praying a lot for this next year - remembering what is important: Resolving to know nothing but Christ, and Him crucified. (1 Cor. 2:2) I know that I can easily fall into the habit of just reading and not understanding (or remembering you once understood, but have since forgotten!) what something like "I am crucified with Christ means" but it is an excellent reminder of going through and explaining what that exactly means. I guess I would say its good for refocusing your faith - THIS is what its about, Christ and Him crucified. THIS is what I boast (delight, glory, rejoice) in. THIS and nothing else. (For further reading see Gal. 2:20, Gal. 6:14, Acts 20:24, 1 Cor. 1:18-2:2)
Anyway, on a slightly related note, this is my new favorite song by Needtobreathe. It is kind of along the same lines of "Don't Waste Your Life..." Love it! Happy Friday everyone :)
Friday, August 19, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Rain and Food
No real point to this blog today. I am sitting here on my front porch, waiting for my baked mac n' cheese to come out of the oven. Rain always makes me want to stay in my sweatpants all day, just read a book, talk to Jesus, watch movies, and cook/bake.
I am not a good cook. I try. Really I do. But somehow, I always end up missing some vital step or some important ingredient. Case in point: today, with the mac and cheese.
For the sauce I melted the butter, added the flour and proceeded to dump in 2 cups of shredded cheese. The result? A nasty congealed mass of something that used to be cheese, but now just looked like a lump of yellow. It was disgusting. Then, following the directions I added the cooked pasta and attempted to mix it all together. Major fail. Pasta + congealed lump = enemies. It would not mix. In frustration I threw it all in the baking dish and tossed it in the oven, hoping beyond hope that somehow, someway, in the oven it would make itself right (ha).
Go back and look at directions.
Milk.
I didn't put any in.
Then you have that "oooohhhhh" moment which translated, means "Wow, I can't believe I forgot to put something like milk in mac and cheese." Thats like forgetting to put chocolate on a s'more - you just don't do that.
So, I raced back over to the oven, threw it all on the stove and worked some milk into it. Ah. NOW it resembles something more like creamy, beautiful mac 'n' cheese.
The sad thing is I have made this mistake before - forgotten to put milk in the mac and cheese. Except that last time I was making the Kraft kind out of box. Fail.
We'll see. Maybe I just need to move to London or Seattle where I will be inspired to cook all the time, so that I can practice my skills.
Meh. I will always have my good friend Wendy I can go to when my cooking experiments don't turn out so well...
I am not a good cook. I try. Really I do. But somehow, I always end up missing some vital step or some important ingredient. Case in point: today, with the mac and cheese.
For the sauce I melted the butter, added the flour and proceeded to dump in 2 cups of shredded cheese. The result? A nasty congealed mass of something that used to be cheese, but now just looked like a lump of yellow. It was disgusting. Then, following the directions I added the cooked pasta and attempted to mix it all together. Major fail. Pasta + congealed lump = enemies. It would not mix. In frustration I threw it all in the baking dish and tossed it in the oven, hoping beyond hope that somehow, someway, in the oven it would make itself right (ha).
Go back and look at directions.
Milk.
I didn't put any in.
Then you have that "oooohhhhh" moment which translated, means "Wow, I can't believe I forgot to put something like milk in mac and cheese." Thats like forgetting to put chocolate on a s'more - you just don't do that.
So, I raced back over to the oven, threw it all on the stove and worked some milk into it. Ah. NOW it resembles something more like creamy, beautiful mac 'n' cheese.
The sad thing is I have made this mistake before - forgotten to put milk in the mac and cheese. Except that last time I was making the Kraft kind out of box. Fail.
We'll see. Maybe I just need to move to London or Seattle where I will be inspired to cook all the time, so that I can practice my skills.
Meh. I will always have my good friend Wendy I can go to when my cooking experiments don't turn out so well...
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Start Over
Today I got fired.
There is so much to say in that tiny statement. I won't go into detail, but I acted out in an uncharacteristic way with no excuses. I was angry, but that is also no excuse. This is one of those times when you realize the gravity of one small action; one moment of not being in control and thats it. There is no excuse for what I did, and it was right for me to be fired. I am still shocked and saddened over this turn of events (and even more shocked at myself that I could do something like that), but this job was truly the Lord's, He gave it to me, and it was His to allow to be taken away.
Its kind of amazing how the Lord has already taught me so much through this....and it hasn't even been a full day. After my manager had sent me home initially, I came home and cried for about an hour. I repented, both for my action and for my heart attitude, and apologized for hurting Him. And the amazing thing? He forgave. I'm reminded of the verse that says that the man who is forgiven much, loves much. There was again a moment of awe as I marveled in such grace....I for sure don't deserve it. I don't know if you can appreciate grace to your fullest extent unless you can first see just how badly you can screw up.
Another thing I realized this morning is the fact that when the Lord promises to restore and redeem, He doesn't just mean the things that He "screwed up" in our lives. He also wants to redeem the things that we ourselves have screwed up in our own lives. Yes, there is discipline, and boy does it hurt, but it brings about something beautiful: growth. A further and deeper reliance on Him and on His grace.
This morning I was reading in 2 Corinthians 1 where it says
"Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that He will deliver us again."
He is my Deliverer. He has delivered, and He will deliver. In all things He is good (in HIS definition of goodness).
To be honest, if there's ever a good way to get fired, this was it. Both the person involved and my manager forgave me, and my manager basically said that she wished she didn't have to do it. So, I left on pretty good terms, all things considered.
So here I am. Jobless. Unemployed. Lots of time on my hands to think, pray, and job hunt. But He is good. Even in this. In YOU my heart will trust...
There is so much to say in that tiny statement. I won't go into detail, but I acted out in an uncharacteristic way with no excuses. I was angry, but that is also no excuse. This is one of those times when you realize the gravity of one small action; one moment of not being in control and thats it. There is no excuse for what I did, and it was right for me to be fired. I am still shocked and saddened over this turn of events (and even more shocked at myself that I could do something like that), but this job was truly the Lord's, He gave it to me, and it was His to allow to be taken away.
"The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." Job 1:21
Its kind of amazing how the Lord has already taught me so much through this....and it hasn't even been a full day. After my manager had sent me home initially, I came home and cried for about an hour. I repented, both for my action and for my heart attitude, and apologized for hurting Him. And the amazing thing? He forgave. I'm reminded of the verse that says that the man who is forgiven much, loves much. There was again a moment of awe as I marveled in such grace....I for sure don't deserve it. I don't know if you can appreciate grace to your fullest extent unless you can first see just how badly you can screw up.
Another thing I realized this morning is the fact that when the Lord promises to restore and redeem, He doesn't just mean the things that He "screwed up" in our lives. He also wants to redeem the things that we ourselves have screwed up in our own lives. Yes, there is discipline, and boy does it hurt, but it brings about something beautiful: growth. A further and deeper reliance on Him and on His grace.
This morning I was reading in 2 Corinthians 1 where it says
"Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that He will deliver us again."
He is my Deliverer. He has delivered, and He will deliver. In all things He is good (in HIS definition of goodness).
To be honest, if there's ever a good way to get fired, this was it. Both the person involved and my manager forgave me, and my manager basically said that she wished she didn't have to do it. So, I left on pretty good terms, all things considered.
So here I am. Jobless. Unemployed. Lots of time on my hands to think, pray, and job hunt. But He is good. Even in this. In YOU my heart will trust...
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Undivided heart
I've been noticing a trend in my journal lately.
At then end of many recent entries, there has been a prayer. "Lord, teach my heart ____." That blank could be filled in with words like humility, selflessness, to be joyful, generosity...
I guess I've been recently re-awakened to the fact that my heart is deceitful and desperately sick, and needs to be taught. Another thing that has stood out to me is the fact that hearts, especially mine, are easily distracted and divided in terms of purpose and focus.
So then I started looking up other verses on the heart, especially ones that talk about a whole or undivided heart...
"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart..." Ps. 9:1
"Let the hearts of those who seeks the Lord rejoice!" Ps. 105:2
"Thus you shall do in the fear of the Lord, in faithfulness and with your whole heart." 2 Chron. 19:9
"Teach me Your way, O Lord, that I may walk in Your truth; unite my heart that I may fear Your name. I give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify Your name forever." Ps. 86:11-12
I guess I just keep seeing the point that the heart that is whole in purpose, desire, and focus will be the heart that most clearly sees the face of the Lord, and best hears His voice. Not to mention that that is the heart that will be quickest to obey and receive blessings from obedience.
For my heart that has spiritual ADD, this could be a challenge! O Lord, teach my heart.
..
At then end of many recent entries, there has been a prayer. "Lord, teach my heart ____." That blank could be filled in with words like humility, selflessness, to be joyful, generosity...
I guess I've been recently re-awakened to the fact that my heart is deceitful and desperately sick, and needs to be taught. Another thing that has stood out to me is the fact that hearts, especially mine, are easily distracted and divided in terms of purpose and focus.
How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to Your word. With my whole heart I seek You; let me not wander from Your commandments. I have stored up Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You. Ps. 119:-11
So then I started looking up other verses on the heart, especially ones that talk about a whole or undivided heart...
"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart..." Ps. 9:1
"Let the hearts of those who seeks the Lord rejoice!" Ps. 105:2
"Thus you shall do in the fear of the Lord, in faithfulness and with your whole heart." 2 Chron. 19:9
"Teach me Your way, O Lord, that I may walk in Your truth; unite my heart that I may fear Your name. I give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify Your name forever." Ps. 86:11-12
I guess I just keep seeing the point that the heart that is whole in purpose, desire, and focus will be the heart that most clearly sees the face of the Lord, and best hears His voice. Not to mention that that is the heart that will be quickest to obey and receive blessings from obedience.
For my heart that has spiritual ADD, this could be a challenge! O Lord, teach my heart.
..
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