Thirsty

Ever feel like your life is moving nowhere fast?

This is me right now. Maybe its the fact that I am actually getting to rest for the first time since Christmas I think? And I am realizing that, whoa, I really am tired. I knew I was tired but not *that* tired.

Maybe thats it.

Or...

I have also felt so dry recently. Like the dryness of Colorado is sucking any moisture out of my skin, this life and its crap is sucking any peace, joy, or purpose out of life. The easy answer? Jesus! He's always the answer. this is truth. I have probably known that "Jesus is the answer" from the time I was 3.
But recently I have been craving the Holy Spirit's work in my life. Not a trick, not some amazing earth-shattering vision or revelation, but just getting to see the evidence of His work in me, His voice speaking to me, and His love controlling my life. I find myself looking at other Christians whose motto could be 'all Jesus, all the time'-- and while I definitely believe that for my own life, I see a definite difference between the way that they interact with the Lord, and the way that I do.

I just think I need a fresh revelation. And maybe that's what this slow summer, complete with no trip to Japan, no exciting trip anywhere fun/important, will provide.
I just want to hear His voice.
I just want to be in His presence, and recognize that fact by the fact that I see Him moving and working.


Is that too much to ask?

Devotions/thoughts

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Eph. 3:14-19

Read this this morning and decided to head to Studylight.org to look up some background stuff-- here's some interesting stuff I found.

Comprehend "katalamba/nw"
1. to lay hold of
a. to lay hold of so as to make one's own, to obtain, attain to, make one's own, to take into one's self, appropriate
b. to seize upon, take possession of

Know "ginosko"
1. to learn to know, come to know, get a knowledge of, perceive, feel
a. to become known
2. to know, understand, perceive, have a knowledge of
3. A Jewish idiom for sexual intercourse between a man and a woman
4. to become acquainted with, to know

In English, I think we tend to treat know and comprehend as almost the same word, so I thought it was interesting that the Greek has such different meanings....that we are not only called to know and understand in an intimate way (and be known by it), but also to take a hold of it and make it our own....

Faithful!

Recently things have been a bit crazy....been working on our ballet Living Hope for the month of May, had the choreographer come and work on it with us, held 2 different auditions for the trainee program, and also had several performances mixed in there. And of course, work, and I also fit in a weekend in NYC with my family on top of things.

So now the school year is drawing to a close, and one of our end of the year projects was writing this sermon. The topic: Psalm 23. For the record, writing that sermon was ridiculously hard. So much work goes into those things. First the research/observation section; researching when/under what circumstances it was written, the reason (implied or stated), who wrote it, why he wrote it, what time of year was it written, etc. on and on.... And then Interpreting that and then the application. Can you say hours and hours of work? And of course, we are also trying to rehearse, do costumes/props, and also go to my other job. Needless to say, its been a lot.

So, its kind of ironic that our sermon is on the topic of Psalm 23, where the whole idea has to do with the Lord's provision and grace.

Its also been incredibly ironic considering that this sermon had bad timing in some ways....I'm incredibly stressed out while trying to write this sermon thats talking about depending on the Lord.

Anyway, enough about me. The fact is that the Lord is faithful. The other day my roommate and I were getting ridiculously worked up over the fact that there is not enough time and then stopped and prayed. I specifically prayed that we could go home from work early, or have grace if we needed to stay late. So friday night, we both worked later than we thought we would. But there was grace. And now, Saturday night.....we both got out early. Like ridiculously early. When Cayla texted me telling me she was done, I couldn't believe it. It was so out of the blue. And then when I got home slightly after 8:30 (which is a small miracle in my world), it was like wow, only the Lord.

So this is just a testimony to the Lord's faithfulness. i could write a lot about Psalm 23 (just ask me to give that sermon sometime! ok not really, but I'll let you look at the outline!), but the fact of the matter is that the Lord already knows what we need and is FAITHFUL to provide. Again and again....Thank you Lord.....

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, great is your faithfulness. The LORD is my portion says my soul, therefore i will hope in Him." ~Lamentations 3:22-24

Oh and one more thing! I saw a sunset tonight for the first time in forever. I'm always at work and running around and never get to see the sun go down....and man was it gorgeous. A blaze of peach, pink, and orange. Wow. I kind of can't get over how amazing my Lord is!

What a wonderful maker
what a wonderful savior
how majestic your whispers
how humble Your love
with a strength like no other
and the heart of a Father
how majestic Your whispers,
what a wonderful God....