Discouragement

"Uh, I've had a long and rather disappointing day....I should probably get some sleep now." -Monkey, Kung Fu Panda


*Disclaimer* This is the product of an extremely tired and not-so-optimistic Gwen-jo. If you do not mind mindless rambling and complaining, read on. If not, feel free to get back on Facebook, or whatever you were doing.

Some days things are awesome. Stuff goes just as it should, there's no hard questions or difficult decisions to make, you feel good about yourself.

Today was not one of those days.

For whatever reason, Day 1 of CMA Ft. Collins classes was not exactly stellar.
Maybe it was the plethora of kids wanting to be moved up (which of course makes me NOT want to move them up...), or the fact that I think that one of my classes thinks I'm insane and possibly hates me, the fact that I ate too much food AND spent too much money on food that I don't need to eat, the fact there are girls who I was teaching who are technically better than myself.....yeah. Disappointment.

Its days like this that make me wonder (or realize, depending on how you look at it) if I'm just really not cut out for this. What am I doing? I know that God has a purpose and plan putting me in a place where I am not exactly what you would call "gifted," but that doesn't always stop discouragement from setting in, like today. I am thankful for this season of my life. God has blessed me and taught me a lot through this teaching position. But sometimes you just wish for some sign of encouragement, some small little flower of happiness in the sea of weariness (like in the picture on my blog...). I feel like I teach them nothing. Its especially hard when I feel like they don't get anything out of the devotionals. I would like to teach them dance, but teaching them how to love the Lord is infinitely more important...and when I feel like I can't even help them in that......

I know I just need to take a deep breath and remember that it is only the first day, a lot of the girls don't really know me, God often works behind the scenes without giving any sign that He is doing so....and I am tired. After all, Ft. Collins isn't exactly right up the road....

*sigh* Here's to hoping that tomorrow will be better. The sun will come out tomorrow.... and with it some new mercies.